He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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