I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
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His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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