too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
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I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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