She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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