Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
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They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
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In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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