I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
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if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize