i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
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BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
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CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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