Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize