HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize