I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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