Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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