we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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