So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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