my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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