I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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