Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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