Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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