Apparently you make a good broom.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Two words: nipple clamps
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