so that wasnt chicken after all
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
two words: eviction party
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Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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