The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize