i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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