The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize