I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
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I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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