He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
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did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
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Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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