i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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