you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize