we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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