i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
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Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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