Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...

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  (519): Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm... http://tfl.nu/v0t6
  Replies (21) Good night (1039) Bad night (7660) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand

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  (781): what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand http://tfl.nu/hzsn
  Replies (8) Good night (4495) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later

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  (336): maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later http://tfl.nu/sccq
  Replies (18) Good night (689) Bad night (3359) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk

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  (585): there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk http://tfl.nu/9sjy
  Replies (21) Good night (1465) Bad night (3723) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.

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  (954): We're sending your burrito through the mail slot. http://tfl.nu/pddr
  Replies (4) Good night (3736) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.

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  (702): Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily. http://tfl.nu/1vv1
  Replies (3) Good night (3387) Bad night (771)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.

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  (419): fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back. http://tfl.nu/wq3e
  Replies (11) Good night (4343) Bad night (1626) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

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  (425): If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower. http://tfl.nu/0936
  Replies (11) Good night (3369) Bad night (1428) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it

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  (717): And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it http://tfl.nu/tlm9
  Replies (2) Good night (1383) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.

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  (469): She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker. http://tfl.nu/zanh
  Replies (8) Good night (1692) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  This baby is an asshole

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  (517): This baby is an asshole http://tfl.nu/mlzh
  Replies (11) Good night (1792) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND

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  (215): OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND http://tfl.nu/fivf
  Replies (23) Good night (1639) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth

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  (701): This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth http://tfl.nu/r917
  Replies (12) Good night (768) Bad night (466)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?

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  (314): Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him? http://tfl.nu/mvm1
  Replies (12) Good night (442) Bad night (278) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.

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  (206): I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense. http://tfl.nu/5wxg
  Replies (2) Good night (313) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt

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