and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
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In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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