No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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