After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
All I want is dick and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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