So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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