I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
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i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
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We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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