I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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