Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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