Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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