So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize