Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
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We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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