you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize