I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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