Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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