Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize