At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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