remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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