i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize