Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize