D3 body, D1 cock
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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