can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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