i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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